Monster Hospital

I had a very weird experience or two last night.

Yesterday morning I wasn’t feeling well, but I had to take the kids to school and then I had to babysit the tree guys who were taking out our 3 Elms in the back. They were approximately 50 years old and dying, but it was still sad to see them taken out.

So later in the day I was looking forward to going to my knitting group, but I started to feel bad again. I looked up online the symptoms of a female heart attack and of course I had them – chest pains, back pains, nausea. I was going to drive to the urgent care of my doctor’s office, but that is 20 min away, and the hospital is 10-15 minutes away and I didn’t feel well enough to drive all the way to Palo Alto.

Of course it ended up being a busy night at the ER for some reason. I brought a book from the library, Jay Leno’s “Leading with my Chin” and by the time (actually, before that time) I had *finished* the 260- page book! (I had another in the car – too bad I had forgotten to bring that too!) So I’m up to 3 books read this year. And many, many infomercials at the ER, plus “The Hills” which really made me want to die.

While I was sitting in the lobby for 1 1/2 hours I started to feel better, of course. But then I had started and I didn’t really remember I have blood clotting issues so it was a good thing to stay, but I was not happy to be at the ER until 2:30 am! (I’m getting off track here.)

Anyway, I finished my entire book, then luckily I had some knitting I brought along. I am very close to the end of Safire but it is hard to knit with a blood pressure cuff and that oxygen thing on your finger! I didn’t end up finishing it last night, but now I’m done with the sleeves.

At some point after midnight, they decided to give me a CT scan. I haven’t had that before, but it wasn’t too bad.

Here’s the funny part. I’ve had some interesting experiences with what I would consider celebrity look-alikes. When I got my driver’s license years ago the guy who gave me driving test reminded me totally of Louis Gossett, Jr. (“An Officer and a Gentleman”). Especially when I failed the parallel parking and he said, in a Jamaican accent “you have knocked over my flag” (or would have hit a car if there was a car there).

Then when I got my wisdom teeth out I swear the endodontist was the spitting image of Andrew “Dice” Clay. You try to keep it together when you’re on laughing gas and Andrew “Dice” Clay is breaking your teeth. It’s an experience, definitely.

Which brings me to last night. The technician who did my CT really reminded me of Phillip Seymour Hoffman! It’s really funny to be in a big machine and be getting directions (“breathe”, “hold your breath”) from Phillip Seymour Hoffman! (Maybe I was a bit woozy from being up all night, I don’t know.)

All in all, they diagnosed me with chest pains of a non-specific something or other. Basically, they couldn’t tell what was wrong with me, but at least I felt okay, and they ruled out a heart attack and blood clot. And I finished a book!

“I read a book! 150 pages! (What was it about?) No idea. It took me 3 years” — Jim Gaffigan


4 Responses to “Monster Hospital”

  1. January 7, 2010 at 1:47 am

    Well, I’m glad you’re ok!! Heh, I wouldn’t even recognize those people, so I could’ve had all sorts of celebrity lookalike experiences and not know.

    I will say one of the very nice things about the ebook reader is that I would have to be at the hospital for a month or so before I ran out of books.

  2. January 7, 2010 at 6:15 am

    Hmm, never thought it could be like this…. very strange

  3. January 9, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    Well, I’m glad they ruled out the heart attack and blood clot. Do you have issues with acid reflux? I went to the ER once thinking I had a heart attack. Nope, acid reflux. 2 months of Prilosec and the “no food diet” (i.e. if it’s something you’d want to eat, you can’t) fixed me right up.
    I’m glad you went. Keep an eye on things anyway.

  4. January 28, 2010 at 8:26 pm

    whew. glad you made it through all right. i wanted to comment when this happened but my stupid computer wasn’t cooperating with me! 😛 chest pains are no fun..been having a few myself lately. 😛 ugh. at least you finished a book! did they prescribe anything?

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is a knitter, librarian and pop culture enthusiast in the San Francisco Peninsula. Email me at emmckee@rocketmail

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January 2010
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